Walk A Mile In Another's Panties

No one had ever sent me a chain letter I was happy to receive til my buddy Brandy did in the dark days of January. It included a friendly explanation (with no evil threat of unending bad luck if I didn't comply--I hate those, and never send them on) and invited me to take part in a 'panty exchange' by sending a pair of new ones, tag attached, to a stranger whose specifictions were handwritten below: "hipster or thong, X-Large." If I did that, I would be rewarded in a few weeks with 36 new pairs for myself.

Here's how it works:

[WARNING: Only read the next tedious technical paragraph if you want to start up your own inspired exchange scheme. I cannot be responsible for any dizziness, vomiting, or unending bad luck you may experience after you read the following.]

Everyone in the chain receives two copies of the same letter of invitation and instructions. The first is addressed to you and includes at the bottom-left the name, address, and specs of the person you are to mail panties to; at the bottom-right the name, address, and specs of the person who has sent you the letter. The other enclosed copy is identical to the first but without any blanks filled in. You are to make 11 copies of the latter, personalize and fill them and your generic in, then send these along with one generic copy apiece to six of your friends. You mail your gift panties to the person noted at the bottom-left of the personalized letter you recieved (to the person who sent the letter to the person who sent it to you), then transfer the name, address, and specs of the person who sent you the letter into the left bottom corners of your form letter copies, and write your own name, address and specs into the right-bottom spaces. Then you personally address these before sending them and their generics off.

If everyone invited does what is asked of them, the person who sent you the letter will receive 36 panties from your friends and others, and you will receive the same number from all the friends of your friends, in ever-advancing loops of lingerie.

So far I've received five surprise thongs, and now have a reason to run for the mail instead of run from my bills. Need I say this is really fun? I hardly ever bother wearing underwear, but this flags not my enthusiasm for receiving these tiny bundles of suspense. Every pair and package is different. One woman even enclosed a tiny handmade well-wishing card with the black mesh lace-edged lowriders she'd chosen. A couple of other pairs were quite psychedelic and interesting. I've worn all of them for a day, except for the tasteful basic black cotton pair like I already had.

Besides getting lots of new underpants you might never think of for yourself, you also get a little social insight with this exchange. The panty choices make me wonder about the personalities and tastes of the women who've sent them to me. It's interesting to note that all my new panties so far have come to me through the friends and co-workers of only one of the six women I sent the letter to: Karina. (I can tell from the sender names and return addresses.) I suspected as much already, but this empirically confirms that Karina has a lot of creative and fun ladies in her life to whom she could send this letter. (She's a filmmaker and a programmer for the Rendez-Vous du Cinema Quebecois festival, go figure.) Perhaps the fact these women so quickly procured the panties and got them in the mail indicates that, like their pal Karina, they are organized go-getters, too.

Wherever you are, if you get this letter, I urge you to get off your ass and help cover someone else's. Even if only a few respond down the line, trust me, it's totally worth it.

If I'm lucky a few more of these presents will trickle in and spike up my spirits here and there until spring finally arrives. If I'm luckier still, by spring there will be someone I feel like showing these panties to.